There are a few things you need to know about me (and likely, the majority of the women you know) before you start assuming I'm helpless. . .
First and foremost, I am not an idiot. A little insane at times? Sure. Suffer from momentary lapses in judgement? Of course. Forget things on occasion? Who doesn't? However, "dumb" or "ignorant" are words that I would never use to describe myself. In fact, I'm much smarter than you give me credit for. . . and I use that to my advantage.
Case and point: the other day, I called the car dealership where I purchased my SUV. I have been having a few little issues with the vehicle "shuttering" and not accelerating the way it should. Not a huge issue. . . it runs, it hasn't broken down, and after it runs for a little while, those issues resolve themselves. But, since I am attempting to sell this vehicle, it is only fair that I get any and all mechanical issues resolved before turning it over to a new owner. Since this vehicle is still under warranty, any of the issues that may be occurring should also be covered at no cost to me.
Anyway, I spoke to the service manager at said dealership. He asked me what issues I'm experiencing with my vehicle in an attempt to diagnose (presumptively) over the phone. I explained the shuttering to him, expecting that he would simply schedule a time for me to drop off the car, and he would look into it further. I was wrong. Surprise. He began to try to explain to me what he thought may be wrong with the vehicle. . . and the way he was explaining these issues to me made it clear that he thought I was just an ignorant little girl who knows nothing about cars, how they work, and what needs to be done to fix them.
Something Mr. Service Manage does not know about me: I used to change the oil in my car. I've changed the shocks on my car. I've given my car a tune up. I've changed headlights. I've worked for two different vehicle maintenance retailers. I used to read Hane's manuals to pass the time at work waiting on customers. I am not ignorant to the inner workings of a vehicle.
Generally, when people patronize me the way this gentleman was on the phone, I like to play games. I'll put on the "I am as stupid as you think I am, and I know nothing, and please take advantage of me" act and try to see just how far that person will go to try and pull one over on me. In this situation? I was in no mood to play games. (When you have a toddler throwing toy trains across the kitchen trying to get them to ricochet off the counter and into the sink. . . sitting on the phone isn't exactly a priority.)
I (kindly) explained to the service manager that 1) I am not your typical housewife. . . I do not need him to explain to me what he thinks an issue is as if I'm a child. He can use "big words" with me and I'm pretty sure I'll get it. 2) Telling me I may be behind on standards maintenance and could be liable for the work that needs to be done is not going to fly with me. First of all, I've had the vehicle since November. I've put less than two-thousand miles on said vehicle, therefore, I don't need an oil change. . . I don't need a tune-up. . . and I don't need a tire rotation. Second of all, none of that would be causing the "shuttering" I referred to earlier in the conversation, nor would it affect my acceleration. 3.) I was going to ask him to do all of the said maintenance on the vehicle while it was in their possession. . . but, after accusing me of not knowing how to take care of a vehicle, I didn't think it would be in my best interest to have him handle that for me. And finally, 4.) I asked him to just schedule the damn diagnostic test. . . FOR FREE. . . so I can be on my merry way!
Deep breath.
After stuttering an apology to me, Mr. Service Manager scheduled an appointment for me to bring my SUV in to be checked out next week. He assured me the diagnosis would be free and that any and all work that would likely need to be done would be covered under warranty.
Thank you for telling me what I already knew.
Why do some men think that women are fools when it comes to cars? I'm not just talking about how they run, or how to take care of them. I'm talking about buying them too. Why do guys think they can easily take advantage or pull one over on a woman? It truly boggles my mind.
(Yes. I have another story to tell here. Surprised?)
On Sunday, I went to a car dealership to see a van - in person - that I had seen online. I have never seen one of these vehicles before, nor have I read too much about them yet, so I wanted to see for myself if they lived up to the hype they were given online. The moment I pulled in, a younger sales guy came to the door and waited for me to get out of my car. (Please note: my mother was in the passengers seat, my father was sitting between the two car seats in the back of the SUV, and I had both of my children with me. My intention was simply to glance at the van in question, get a business card, and be on my merry way.)
I asked Mr. Young Salesman where the van I was looking for was located. He walked me to the vehicle and began giving me a speech on how wonderful this van is. . . showing me all the bells and whistles that I could honestly care less about. He showed me how to (and this is not a joke) open the glove box. He showed me how to open the automatic sliding doors. He showed me how to adjust the seats. Apparently, I give off an vibe of complete ignorance when it comes to vehicles. Why else would he assume that I didn't know how to open a door?
Once again, I don't take well to being patronized. But this time, I decided to play my game with Mr. Young Salesman. I acted completely and utterly dumbfounded by the features of this minivan. My mouth gaped at the amazing multi-disc CD changer. I "ooohed" and "ahhhed" over the built-in sun shades. I completely let him show me every inch of this luxury kid-hauling machine.
Then, he pulled out the pitch: "It's the last day of the month! Make me a 'ridiculous' offer, and I will accept!"
Oh, Mr. Young Salesman, you said the wrong thing. Little did he know I was giddy with excitement over the opportunity to play this game with him. I asked for his card, willingly gave him my phone number and name, and told him he could call on Monday after I "discussed" this with my husband.
Please be advised: I had absolutely no intention of purchasing a vehicle that day. I need to sell mine first, or, pay it off, before investing in another vehicle. I even explained that to this eager salesman, but he seemed to have forgotten that part of the conversation. I left him on his "last day of the month," without a sale. . . and the assurance that he would be calling on Monday.
Sure enough, my phone rang Monday morning. Mr. Young Salesman asked me if I had gotten around to speaking to my husband. I told him I had, and that we had decided to wait until we unloaded our SUV before investing in a van. What did he say? "Our incentives run out today. Please, make me a 'ridiculous' offer, and I will accept. I promise."
Funny. I thought your month ended on Sunday? Didn't you tell me to make you that "ridiculous" offer yesterday? Amazing what 24 hours will do for a person's brain when it's already mush.
I humored him, and listened to his pitch again. . . and I made him the "ridiculous" offer he was begging me to make:
"Okay (name has been removed to spare this guy the humiliation)
After some tripping over his words, and the usual "I'll have to run it by my sales manager" speech, he came back to say that this was impossible and asked me to come in to discuss it further. This is what I had been hoping for.
"(Again, sparing humiliation. . . so no names)
I hung up.
The lesson here is simple: Fellas, please do not patronize the women in your life. . . even if you truly are convinced that they don't know what they're talking about when it comes to a subject you are more than savvy on. Because chances are, what they lack in knowledge about that subject, they make up for in spite and wit.
